My heart is beating like a hammer...

Good ole Metric.

My desk is so crowded we've started calling it "The Nest."  Which is a mocking title it (I) richly deserves.

Things living in the nest:

repaired triplicate lamp
small painted octopus
a box of beads
xeroxed photos of my brother's art
lip balm
books.  so.  many.  books.  all partially read.
a miniature merry-go-round
a box of story ideas
a recorder
mascara
three letters
a bottle of tylenol
a sewing kit
the list just goes on forever, I swear.

Oh, oh-ah-oh, I got a love that keeps me going Oh, oh-ah-oh--

But still, I am a lonely boy, right now.  Almost a month.  Almost.

A list of things that open (in my immediate view):

the giant samsung printer I am debating selling
a book, "How to Write a Damn Good Thriller"
a storage drawer of odds and ends
a shoebox
a teal purse
a Swiss back pack
two slide-open keyboard phones
a couple tubes of ancient nail polish
a mandolin case

I mean, it's going to happen one way or another.

Right?

I am putting off the day as best I can.  Not for any particular reason, either, it's just that time in general seems uninterested in my wishes, and continues regardless of my plans, and bulldozes things right along...  So we've developed a passive-aggressive relationship.

Things I Am Dreading

plane rides (3 of them, in total)
not working (for 2 months, which was, initially, quite exciting)
carrying lots of heavy things (boxes, the number of which is too high to know)
mailing lots of heavy things (re: boxes)
moving Yet Another Piano to Yet Another Unknown Location
putting things I love in boxes (a dog and a cat, notably)
being scared

Angela Davis

I had the great (and greatly surprising) honor of seeing Angela Davis speak last night. She was welcomed with a Hawaiian chant and an offering of kalo.

Winter Kona, Winter RVa

I don't get it.  The format keeps changing.  

Just like life, I guess.  

I looked back on this blog and I have been complaining ever since I left Hawai'i.  I should probably get back there then, huh?  And soon.  Or I will bore everyone around me to tears.

I guess the important question is always whether or not it was all worth it, and to be honest, I'm not really sure.

A List of Things That Have Happened, In No Particular Order:

a grandmother with a broken hip

a master's degree of dubious quality

a hurricane, or five

weddings

funerals

burning man

the end of something.  and maybe even the right thing, for a change.

Maybe this isn't how it's supposed to be.

But then again, maybe it is. Who can know?

Best names for inanimate objects:
Lizzie
Bobachunks
Skree
Lola
Chum
Hooper
da kine, da kine da kine

The summer has been heavy. I feel like I'm constantly running out of time, even though that's absurd. I can't tell if grad school just ingrained a constant anxiety in me, or the challenges facing my family lately are just creating an ever present, subversive pool of worry in my mind.

No pictures. No pictures, please.

A lot of beautiful things have happened lately, as well. I should think on them instead.

a box of delicious, lush vegetables from a friend's garden in Vermont

that they and their garden weren't washed away in the floods

Mt. Greylock, in all it's hurranic majesty

new friends--yankees, at that!

group hugs from the 13s at SUUSI

gorgeous, crisp New England summer days

a leisurely road trip winding through the lower Hudson with some beloved family (seeing lots of deer)

a quiet night in a cute motel with the honeybear

reconnecting with OTs, positives from a negative

and many small moments, here and there