Older

"the wisdom to quit
is all we have
left."

bukowski, date unknown




I am still looking for that wisdom.

This is a picture of an old school bff and a stuffed panda that was on my desk. Colored pencils, corrugated cardboard.

Powered by Vegetable Oil

This car had a book sitting on the trunk, but I can't remember what it was. Something weird.

Things About Work

i always come back to that damn quote from "heart of darkness" about not liking to work, but liking the result. i'm paraphrasing.

Why do birds suddenly dissapear...

LOL AT VISTA

Things I am Smelling

the gas from the oven
rain
asphault
dust
vegetables and olive oil
garlic

Quantum Physical

This is a photo I took in February of Mr. Fine-iddy on the Kona side. You unfortunately can not see either the picturesque beach or the lava fields, or his sour and sun-burned expression.




Concepts of Self that Just Rub Me the Wrong Way

house-wife
fixer
back-scratcher/bargainer/mediator
trophy wife (including the new "punk-rock" version)
better than
boss

Our digital reflections are so strange.

I wish you could see this girl's smile a little better, it was adorable.

We missed PAX this year.

Things That I am Currently Reading:

imdb info on "izo"
wiki article on "third-wave feminism"
a collection of mystery stories
bukowski, damn him
susan sontag
how to buy a house for dummies
the words "sweet kitty"

Dirty Martini Down in the Dirty

I kinda like the bizarre intersection of belly dance and burlesque. I suspect it may boil down to a fascination with sequins and oversized fabric flowers.

And the essential skirting of scandal. Non-commital flirtations only.

Things About This Photo That Are Sad:

that DM's not dancing in it, which she does best
that I have since come to question my affection for her as she appears to have some questionable alliances with questionable members of the burlesque community
that my hair hasn't been this long since roughly when this photo was taken, several years ago

I Dream a Thousand Cranes To Life Each Night

I am so lucky.

Things that are in the Fridge Right Now

lilikoi fudge
papayas
thai noodle salad
apple green tea
mac nut fudge
wasabi mayonaise
saracha
cherry tomatos
zuchini
make-believe-meats

How can I tell you...

that I love you, I love you.
How can I tell you
that I'm always thinking of you.


Cat Power/Chan Marshall/The Woman Who Sold Her Notoriety makes me misty; when that silly commercial comes on I unmute the television and deliberately look away, so that I can enjoy the song without having it marred by blood diamonds.

It makes me think of my mom. More songs.




Things that Remind Me of My Appalachian Family
peaches
orchards
that new car smell (I do not really like it, but it makes me miss them, which makes it okay)
ceramic figurines
garden tomatos
stain master carpet
red geraniums
white pines
brown linoleum
paper napkins
gold
skin like paper
cut crystal glasses
place mats with flowers printed on them
hand towels with woven handles
mirrors

It's a cool 102 degrees today.

I am afraid for all of the older loved ones I have. This heat is quite literally murderous.

I have the strange habit of re-writing favorite songs in my head. Although I know the words perfectly well, I jostle them around, meld them with other songs, or substitute completely new ones. There is a revolving door of songs in my head that I tread through on a regular basis and have for years.

Things Apparently Necessary for Me to Become Addicted to a Song

an overwhelming sense of melacholy or love lost (see: Wicked Game, Is it a Crime [Sade], No Ordinary Love [Sade], Lilac Wine [Nina Simone], Dream Brother, The Crystal Ship, Pouring Some Glory, I've Been Loving You Too Long, If I Don't Have You)
the rolling stones
a few moments alone in which to sing (and mangle) said song(s) out loud

Hot Damn.

I have never been bothered by the heat in Virginia before, but if I still believed in a god of any conscience I would brazenly beg for rain.

It's lewd, to be so hot.

Eat some sushi.


Reasons Clothing is Over-Rated

virginia in the summer
shame is so unfashionable
instead of a post-eating-shower, we ruin fabric
most everyone is more impressive naked
babies and trees are role models

All of these pictures were taken with our free camera.

This is still the PNW, but not Port Townsend, or Bellevue, or Seattle. It's some other place, and to be honest I'm not sure if it has a proper name, or is the kind of place that is just close by a place with a proper name.

Things That "I Love You" Also Means

i miss you
thank you
i'm sorry
i forgive you
i understand why you feel the way you do
in this tiny second of space empty of sound, i was able to feel all over again why we are talking in the first place
i want to tell you how great you are and how fantastic you make me feel...but it's hard to be specific when there's so much
it will be ok
i'm listening
i know you

Port Townsend is a pretty place...

I am missing our family and friends in the PNW. I had high hopes the mister and I would be able to visit them over the summer, but the fates are not with us in this one. Perhaps the early fall? If all works out.

The only difficult thing about living so far away from The Troubles is that the people who compose them are lovely.
(Above statement does not actually apply to our loves in PNW, but our loves where I am currently in RVA).

Things That Prove My Dog is Smart

he speaks english, while I have yet to master dog
he can open doors and windows meant for human hands
when I repeatedly fail to correctly interpret dog, he begins to speak in passive aggressive
he understands when I am afraid, angry, or asking for help (and how and why) before I do
he manipulates less intelligent animals (other dogs) with ease...such as pretending to hear a noise in order to distract them so that he can hog the petting
he eavesdrops on conversations when he hears his name
he mimics head motions
he is not a pack dog; he has only one alpha (me, barely) and several buddies that he likes a lot (the Mister, Nana, and Honey, to name a few)
in spite of the city's various efforts, he has never been arrested (in our little family, that makes him something of a hero)
there is no caging the Raz

I love the internets the way HP loves the magics

banyanbanyan, monster tree and parasite

I wish I may I might

build a small house within your height


The Best Things About Waking Up While It Is Still Dark:

that my mom used to make oatmeal for us
the stars still out around the edge of the sky
that the world is so quiet
the grass is wet
and it is like everything is new

I wake up and mimic opera

Inside this wild animal were several children. This was taken during the misty Chinese New Year's parade downtown.


Things that are Fun to Pet:

my dogs
things I've stolen from my younger brother, particularly when he is within eyesight but not reach
clothing and upholstery that is made of the cotton velvet, no polyester
my friends heads, especially after we've gone swimming, or disagreed
cropped ground cover
springy moss
young animals
horses, especially their noses

hmmm...this list could get really long.

Tattoo (I'm trying not to spoil anything here...)

but the top of this theme looks wonky. I wonder if it's possible to make it less so?

At any rate, this is what love looks like.

Things to Take Pictures Of:

termites
freckles
paper airplanes
my friends who laugh the loudest
biscuits